11 Simple Rules of Excellent Houseguest Etiquette
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Zach Klein Last week I provided tips on how to be the best host to overnight guests that you can be. Of course, every great host needs a great houseguest.
Think you have what it takes to get invited back again and again? Perhaps you do — but only if you’re following these nonnegotiable rules of houseguest etiquette.
1. Arrive With a Gift
Your hosts have gone out of their way to prepare for your arrival — cleaning the house, making the beds, hiding their naughtiness — so the least you can do is arrive with a gift to show your gratitude. A bottle of wine is perfectly fine (and probably preferred), but you should know your audience before gifting booze. It’s embarrassing to give a bottle of alcohol to a recovering alcoholic. If you’re unsure of the hosts’ imbibing status, opt for something non-offensive like a basket of pastas and sauces or a sampler of jams. (See also: 5 Classy Gift Ideas for Any Time of Year)
2. Buy Your Own Groceries
When I’m staying with friends or family, I buy my own groceries for two reasons: 1) I’m a picky eater, so it’s unlikely that they’ll have much that I like, and 2) It’s rude to eat your guests out of house and home. Once you’re settled, ask where the nearest market is. Schedule some time to stop by and pick up your favorite foods and fridge essentials, like bacon, eggs, bread, lunchmeat, etc. Not only will you save money because you won’t have to eat out every meal, but your hosts will appreciate the gesture — especially when you’re gone and the leftovers are all theirs.
3. Conserve Linens and Towels
At home, I use only one towel a week. When I’m done drying off after a shower, I hang it on the back of the bathroom door so it can dry properly. When I’m traveling, I do the same. A good host will provide you with a towel or two, which is plenty, so don’t abuse it. If you think you’ll need more towels, plan ahead; pack a towel of your own so you can have what you need. As beach towels go, I always pack one from home. I can’t be sure that my hosts will have the kind of beach towel I like, so it’s best to come prepared.
4. Ask About House Rules
When guests come to my home I have three rules: 1) Don’t get locked up, 2) Don’t get locked out, and 3) Don’t burn the place down. Otherwise, my guests are free to come and go as they please and make themselves at home. However, not every host is as lax as I am. Some don’t want you making a frozen pizza at 3 a.m. on a Sunday night when you’ve just come home from the bar. To avoid offending your hosts, ask about general policies and rules. Should the door be locked when you leave? Is it OK to put silverware in the dishwasher? Would you like me to let the dog out if you’re not home? Most people have certain ways they like and do things, so it’s best to ask before you step on any toes.
5. Give the Host Personal Space
While your hosts are happy to see you (hopefully), they don’t want to spend every minute of every day with you. Respect that. Ask them all about their lovely city, but plan to do most things by yourself or with whom you’re traveling. It’s certainly OK to invite your hosts to join you on your excursions, but don’t expect it. Chances are they have to work and other obligations to tend to during all or part of your stay — you’re on vacation; they’re not — so don’t be bummed out if they’re not available. Personally, I enjoy the time alone to explore a new place — nobody nagging about how much walking they have to do, nobody complaining about how hot it is, and nobody interrupting your afternoon because they MUST find a gym to fit in a midday run. I won’t name the person who’s guilty of that last one, but I might be married to him.
6. Lend a Hand Where Necessary
Is your host slaving away in the kitchen preparing a delicious feast? Ask if he or she needs a hand. Does the dog need a walk? Volunteer to take the pooch for a stroll. Does somebody need to go on a beer run? Offer your excellent (and sober) driving skills to accomplish the task. Whatever the case, let your guests know that you’re happy to help out where you can. They might say no the first or second time out of politeness, but eventually they’ll want to pawn off some of their chores on you. And you should be happy about it — because you could be spending an arm and a leg for a hotel, but you’re not.
7. Keep Common Areas Clean
My biggest pet peeve when hosting guests is crumbs on the counter. It drives me bonkers. Mind your Ps and Qs when staying with friends and family. Whatever you would do in your own home, don’t do it at your hosts’ home. Put the toilet seat down. Wash your dishes by hand or put them in the dishwasher. Make the bed. Turn out the lights when you leave a room. There’s nothing worse than following guests around the house, picking up after them. Your hosts probably won’t say anything to you regarding your messiness or lack of consideration, but you can be sure that you won’t be invited back because of it.
8. Treat the Hosts to a Nice Meal
If you’re a whiz in the kitchen, prepare your signature dish (and wash the dishes afterward). If you’re not so hot at culinary art, ask your hosts what their favorite restaurant is and treat them to a nice meal. This is a time when you can all be at the same place at the same time to catch up. Conflicting schedules considered, this might be the only chance you have.
9. Strip Your Bed Upon Departure
Do your hosts a favor and strip the linens and place everything — including your dirty towels — in a pile. It’ll save them a few minutes of work when they have to spend an hour or so washing, drying, and remaking the bed. However, I would ask the hosts if they’d like you to do this first. Some hosts don’t want you removing the linens because they don’t want you to see the completely normal and acceptable stains (sweat, urine, etc.) on the mattress and pillows. Because, even though these stains and normal and acceptable (are you going to buy a new mattress every time your dog pees on it? I don’t think so.), it may cause the host unnecessary embarrassment — and you definitely don’t want to do that.
10. Leave a Parting Gift
During your stay you should’ve gotten a good sense of what your hosts want, like, or need. Use this information to purchase a small parting gift that shows your gratitude and decency as a human being. The last time I stayed with friends, I left a half-dozen freshly baked cookies from a great restaurant in the area. Whether they liked them or not, I don’t know — but it’s the thought that counts in this case.
11. Send a Thank-You Note
Once you’ve returned home, make it a point to reach out one more time to let your hosts know how much you appreciate their hospitality. They didn’t have to host you. They could have made up a million and one excuses why they didn’t have room for you. That they opened their home to you says something — they wanted to host you, and you should make one lasting impression to ensure that they view you the way they should, as a thankful and appreciative guest. A quick note that expresses your gratitude will suffice — if only so you have someplace to call home next time you’re in town.
Have tips on how to be a great houseguest? Let me know in the comments below.
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Excellent article -- good to see some of the finer points of etiquette discussed. It's a lost art!
Great points here to consider when being a house guest. I make it a point to be as courteous as possible when staying somewhere even in a hotel room.
Good tips, but they don't always apply when the house guests are family. When my mother visits she prefers to sleep on the pull out couch in the living/family room, rather than the guest room because she likes to be in the middle of it all. Then she has her suitcases, pills, clothes all over the place and to top it off, likes to sleep until 10:00am. It's hard to keep two kids quiet and out of the main play area while she sleeps. This is my favorite houseguest that I like to have visit, but I also like to see her go, especially now that she travels with her boyfriend.
I am a bit freaked out by the idea that urine stains on a mattress, or worse yet, a pillow, are considered normal and acceptable to offer guests. I have two dogs and the thought of them peeing in my bed is a mind-blower.
I don't care if I'm staying there free or not, that's disgusting.
Dogs have accidents. People sweat.
And they both vomit. Would you sleep in that?
Of course not. I'm not suggesting that people sleep in urine, sweat or vomit. I am saying, however, that these things happen from time to time - and even though they're properly cleaned, stains still persist... and that's perfectly normal. People don't buy new mattresses every time life happens. At least nobody I know.
Good article and i agree with the information. On number 10 though, a parting gift should be more substantial than 6 cookies. If I just saved you $200.00 a night in hotel costs and you are in my home for a few days eating my food, using my vehicle, electricity etc., the gift should have a little more impact. For instance on my last stay with friends, we treated them to a broadway show and a nice dinner on the town. Guaranteed we will be welcomed back, and have been. For 6 cookies, I will let you know what hotels are nice to stay at next time you come to town. People often underestimate what a host goes through to put up someone for a few days to a week. Its a lot of time, money, energy and hopefully joy!
I agree with you. I have someone that is my significants other's son who for the last four years shows up for weeks of a time and won't even buy a 12 pack of beer when he stays at my house not hers.... Its always when mom has opening day baseball tickets or play off tickets. We always argue about this to no avail. My daughter visits less often and she always treats us to a home cooked meal and a night out. At least I raised my daughter the right way.
Well i don't want any cookie..The best gift they can do give is to just leave. But this Article was truly helpful.Since I feel uncomfortable talking about such issues i would definitely take some pointers from this to share with her..If this doesn't work..Well I guess bags have to be packed.
both of your posts on this topic appear to be related to your feeling as though your guests are staying with you to save money on a hotel and you are doing them a favor by allowing them to stay in your home. A guest is a person who is invited. This should be because you want them in your home. Otherwise, they are a visitor. This article is about welcomed guests, not visitors who are looking to use your home as a place to stay.
i think if you have arrive with a gift, make the hosts a meal, clean up after yourself, leave a departing gift, and follow up with a thnk you, you have truly showed gratitude and politeness. We just moved to Europe 7 months ago, and i have yet to have one guest do even three of those five things.
How do these apply to family? How do you ask your son-in-law to please put his coffee cup, plates in the dishwasher? We don't see them very often since they live so far away. The cost of food is another question of mine, I've asked my daughter to pay for the next go around since they have been here 2 months already and are planning on staying another 3 weeks. And she uses my vehicle to take our grandson to the park a good 30-35 minutes away. I would not go to her house and ask her if I could use her vehicle and leave her at home. We have a child's swing here and a kiddy pool. We have tried to be very accomadating so they will fell at home.
We moved a table into our bedroom and put our computer in there so I could do bills.
Have we done too much?
I have someone that visits my house often. They will not even buy a bottle of wine but stay a week....
I hear you. We've had someone do the same thing. Stay with us when she's in town for her hobby event. Wants me to cook her meals, complains if I don't serve her breakfast, drinks our soda, never offers us so much as a bottle of wine or offers to buy a pizza. We finally told her that it's just too much for us to have people stay with us. She got mad and hasn't spoken to us since. I guess we were only "friends" when she could use us.
The first thing I would add to this list is to ask them to leave their computer or cell phone in their car or then the bedroom!!!!! We have hundreds of guests a year in our home. One can't even visit with some of them since they are either texting, or then playing computer games, etc. RUDE_RUDE_RUDE!!!!
I don't agree with making the bed, especially since it's in the guest room. The host shouldn't even go in there at all. The guest should have absolute privacy. Apart from that, it's a good article. You can't expect other people to live the way you do but you should expect them to respect you and your home! If you explain all the rules straight up, there shouldn't be any issues. :)
Hmmm.. not all of these apply for every host. For example, it would kind of tick me off if a house guest bought their own food and made their own meals. I view meals as communal, and I pride myself on my cooking.
Same with the personal space. If you are coming to visit, you're coming to visit. Don't just use my house as a hotel and then see the sights without me. I would feel very used.
It's best to know each other and what to expect.
No one should have to be forced to eat what you cook, if you are really curteous and polite, you would respect their wishes.
This depends on the relationship, I feel sorry for those who visit your home. :(
I also would feel offended if a guest brought their own food. I see the kitchen and everything in there as communal. I am opening up my house and sharing my food, if you are bringing your own food, you better be open to sharing.
Renee, I reacted the same way to this article, especially the notion of someone buying groceries and preparing meals in my house. No one should presume to take over the hosts kitchen just because they are invited to stay. The commenter who does not want to stay in your house would not be welcome in mine.
Renee, I agree with you totally.
Great article! Now is it RUDE if I make a copy and set it on the bed of the room some REALLY rude guests will be staying this week? I have no choice but to put them up and its usually a nightmare- how do you tell people they suck politely?- lol!!!
There's no polite way to tell anybody they suck. But I've been known to pack up someone's things and put them outside. They usually get the point. :)
Just tell them you had guest that just left and you found bed bugs and can not get rid of them. Ask if they know how to rid of them.
It would be nice to include "At least offer to pay for gas".
I am currently hosting someone from abroad, staying for close to a month. She didn't bother to bring a gift, which I don't really mind. What I really do mind is she doesn't offer to pay for anything, gas, food, groceries etc. She would only pay for her own snacks/food. I live in California where currently the gas prices is $4.19/gal. I had to refill gas every 2-3days to bring her to places she wants to go, yet she doesn't bother to offer to pay even 50%. She has only been here for 1 week and my patience is running really thin. One week, I already spent 1 month's worth of gas money. I had to take a month off work so that I could bring her around. She's not appreciative at all, kept saying not interested in this, that etc. Geez, she's really making me regret agreeing to host her and I'm almost ready to tell her to pack up and live in a hotel.
We are currently hosting my wfe's brother's family (5 people) from overseas. They have been here now for almost three weeks and I am going spare. They have completely taken over the house to the point where I and the children feel like the guests. And we pay for EVERYTHING. I should have guessed what was going to happen when I saw a charge of $600 on my credit card for theme park tickets. My wife has taken them out for dinner multiple times, always her (or rather me) paying. They have not bought any groceries or petrol. They have taken over the kitchen and only cook (with our food) what they want to eat. They treat us as taxis and want to be taken here and there. My children were originally excited to see their cousins but were disappointed to find that they had evolved into moody teenagers who ignore my children and spend all their time on their iphones and my computer. They never express any gratitude but are instead critical of everything. When we picked them up at the airport - 2 cars, 100 km roundtrip, my brother-in-law's only comment was that my wife's car could have been cleaner - and to prove his point he did clean it, making her feel guilty. They stayed in our new house and my brother-in-law went around and pointed out every "defect" to my wife, again making her feel guilty. I was doing some concreting work and he proceeded to take it over because he believed I did not know what I was doing. He then stuffed it up badly, blaming the cement because it is different overseas. We are getting our old house ready to be rented out and he took great pains to point out what a lousy job I had done with the painting. Over Christmas, my elderly mother hosted a party. They did not interact with any members of my family but instead spent time commenting on the condition of my mother's house. I arced up and now he completely ignores me. They leave tomorrow. I have refused to take them out anymore. My wife is caught in the middle as she said that in her culture, the hosts always pay for everything. However, I have made it clear that I do not want them back in my house.
I see your point, but in my experience, I always pay a lump sum at the end of the visit to cover the host's expenses. I feel like it is a good way to end the visit. But I guess that might make the host feel the way you do, like I am not going to pay for anything during the stay. It's just that I feel it is over-doing it by offering to pay every time money is being spent during the visit ... that could be hundreds of offers and the hosts I stay with always politely say that it is not necessary and refuse to accept money! So I don't want to just go out an say "Oh ok but I will pay you before I leave." I just like to save it as a surprise at the departure. Is that wrong? What's a better way to do it??
I am currently experiencing this allowing my cousin stay with me for two weeks. I didn't realize I will be spending so much money and food that will last me for a weeks gone in months. My biggest mistake was not setting ground rules. My cousin acts like he has no common sense.
Do not ask the host to lend you their car. The last time I did, the car ended up totaled.
Also, when we are the guests, we always leave a few hundred dollars behind in a place the hosts will later discover it. It just makes me feel better to do so. After all, we have been using their gas, electricity, water, sewage, etc.
I live in California and have a house-guest from Germany who asked if he could visit for three weeks. It is common to drive a hundred miles a day here. Do I ask him to chip in for gas since I am only going to these places because of him? I am going on a week vacation with my son and daughter and have booked our rooms. Do I ask him to pay for his own room or do I have to pay for that since he is a guest, even though he invited himself?
You're already letting him stay in your home for three weeks; you've done your part - and it was more than generous. He should absolutely pitch in for gas, and he should most definitely pay for his own room if he's invited himself. If you invited him along, that's a different story if you didn't discuss that he should cover his own costs.
We make our home available to college people visiting friends, and whomever else who finds themselves in need of a place to stay (friends of friends who vouch for them) and we're glad to do it. Last summer it was five groomsmen, several college students, and a fiance or two. We are expecting another group of groomsmen and two of their wives for a wedding here in a few weeks. Separate accommodations all over this large home makes that possible, plus a desire to provide in this way for friends. Quite often these are poor folk! All that said, I find it difficult when they won't say anything to us at all, almost like they're stealthing around, when it's clear we're awake. We ask for none of their time, although sitting with us as they come and go is just the kind thing to do. Then, young men in particular, sleep on top of bedding (now I have to wash everything!) What. Didn't they think I had prepared for them? Sometimes all use of bathrooming is foregone even though it's completely private for them. Last guest I couldn't tell what he used and the damp towel was underneath the folded dry ones. Often there is not so much as a thank you note. Then he stayed. Until Friday. And thinking he'd be leaving later in the day, I found him vacated, never having so much as said boo. Unfortunately, this particular young man has been here more than once and refusing him now will be awkward. Bottom line: please help me formulate some expectations for houseguests. Unless someone puts paper in their hands, thanks are not usually forthcoming, let alone a small token of their appreciation. Ugh.
Not mentioned... Go to bed! If your hosts retire for the night, it would be courteous if you also retire, at least to those spaces set aside for you. That allows the host access to the "common areas" to clean, work, or simply have peace and quiet.
If anyone in your group has bladder or bowel control issues, either inform the hosts so they can take steps to protect bedding or bring along your own mattress protection and discretely use it!
Great article! I agree with Sarah as well. I must say I wish we would have set some expectations in advance.
We have a guest that has stayed with us 3 years in a row - this will be the final year. The first time is was for a short period of time, we were happy to play host.
The second time - when the person left, it was time.
This time we're realizing that the person is either daft or is just taking advantage of our "friendship".
In the 2.5 months this person has been here, the only time she's taken out the trash is when we've asked, once.
She has never offered to cook (she does do the dishes), never offered to pay for a meal when out, never bought any adult beverages, and seems oblivious to even the basic courtesies.
She has never chipped in for groceries - she has offered to pick something up (milk, eggs, bread) if she's buying something for herself.
At first we thought it was a "cultural" thing. But then we realized this person went to college here, has been coming every summer for over 10 years and staying with other people.
Once again, I believe in part is our fault for not setting expectations - but should we have to tell someone that we EXPECT them to pay for a meal once in a while?
Thoughts?
Trust me when I tell you this, inconsiderate people like that will never change. It's best to learn your lesson and walk away.
I am struggling now as hosting my sister for 9 days. We always have problems staying ever since we were children. I thought i could manage since we both are now have grown up. Today is the 3rd and please i hope she gives me privacy for the rest of the days. I have two children at home, we both married but she doesn't like children. Usually my 4years old son needs his afternoon nap so as usual i showered him then brought him back into our bedroom. I found my sister sleeping in my bed instead of the guest room i have prepared for her. I told her to give us privacy as i need to put my boy in bed but she told me my guest room is too warm then ignored my request and continue sleeping. I had no choice and letting my boy skipping his nap time today. She even asked my 9years old daughter to handwash her dirty clothes. Actually i don't mind my daughter doing house chores but I couldn't stand messing up my children routines. It is only the 3rd day! How am I going to stand her till coming Friday?
I think if you allow someone to stay in your home so they aren't spending money on rooms, they shouldn't be the only one to benifit from the generosity you offering. I think you as a host shouLD give you monetary offers so you both benifits from this, especially knowing it's a sisters boyfriend who is taking a vantage of your kindness.
Great article. We have a lake house and I pride myself on providing a comfortable place to share with my adult children. One thing that I really wish people would provide is their own sunscreen. I don't mind sharing mine in a pinch but feel it's rude for adults to just assume this amenity is due to them. I also don't mind providing good beer (I hate cheap beer) but if they're going to suck it down one right after the other like it's water, they should go out and buy it themselves. We shouldn't have to ask for these things and we also shouldn't be ignored when we ask them to bring some. And gifts? What are those?
I own a lakehouse --- people don't know that I spend a small fortune in paper goods -- toilet paper, paper towels (jeesh), paper plates, napkins, paper cups, coffee filters and so forth. I am grateful when someone goes out shopping for this and other staples (shampoo, bar soap, DW powder). My pet peeve is when my guests leave wet towels (if they even bring their own towels) and suits on my wood floor or on their beds. Second pet peeve is not making your bed and having my house look "half-kept" because you can't make your bed. Last peeve is doing nothing -- PITCH IN! Do dishes, restack wood pile, sweep the floor, run an errand, offer to work the grill.....anything at all! I am grateful when some guests actually leave---it shouldn't be so much work for the host! .....OH and I forgot my greatest peeve of all time -- GUESTS DO NOT INVITE GUESTS!
I feel your pain. Even your own children did not get the memo .... Not your fault. They learned via their environment to take, take, take. Society needs to teach humility more.
I'm all for etiquette. Truly a lost art today, including common courtesy!
Thanks for making these available online so we can pass them around, and refresh the concepts of good etiquette!
PLEASE refrain from wearing strong fragrances or using a strong smelling body wash. Many of us are allergic or at least highly sensitive to these, so if you don't like the host's soap, bring your own, but make sure it isn't one of those highly fragranced ones!! GOOD. LORD!!
You should bring your own toiletries. Particularly if you are so sensitive, but really I dislike people helping themselves to mine. Next visit you will find water in the bathroom and not much else.
put the gadgets away (tablet, phone, computer) --- as a guest you are there to enjoy company with each other! It's okay to respond to email but do it discretely when you awaken or retire and not all day!
One more thing -- its gracious that the guests bring 'things' but I find it RUDE when they pack them up and bring them home. Like how hard is it to leave the remaining bottles of beer in the case or the liquor you didn't consume or the food that wasn't cooked. If in doubt, ask the host. Sometimes I DO prefer that they take their food home!
It's not a shock but always revealing when the freeloaders show themselves for who they are. To think that someone's vacation home is another's hotel is beyond ignorant. Many of them aren't even embarrassed to suggest or ask! It's amazing.
They are users and nothing else. I wouldn't ever even think of hinting that another should invite me to THEIR home; much less suggest that they let me sleep in their bed, use their private space, etc.! Say "NO, that is my PRIVATE retreat". The end!
If they give you the can't afford it routine-beware. They're manipulating you. I bet they just spent their money on something that serves them only. Regardless-that's their issue.
Suggest that they look for hotels or rentals that they can afford. Have fun watching their desire to visit, get away and get close to you vanish. Just smile knowingly.
If you don't hear from them, you'll know why. Come on, by now you get it don't you!
I repeat-muster the courage to say "No-this is a private place."
The first time saying it is the hardest. It's easier after that.
Enough said.
Something should be added - Never, ever suggest or have the nerve to come out and ask someone to stay over at their house!! If you don't get a direct and stated invitation with arrival and departure dates, have enough social intelligence not to think that someone enjoys having you sleep at their place, use their private spaces, etc.. It amazes me, but unless you set boundaries, some pushy, rude people will drop major hints or come out and ask. They act like they're doing you some kind of favor! Really?? Of course we all know they just want a free ride for their own enjoyment. Don't do it or even hint if you have any class at all! Now if you do get a stated direct invite, then follow the steps above. Otherwise, wake up and realize how obnoxious and ignorant you are!
Top Rule of All-Never hint or try to get an invite! It's a total turn-off! Not to mention pushy and out-of-line. Do that and expect NEVER to be invited-ever!
A very important rule is omitted...Clean up after yourself and your kids. It's very irritating and tiring to be constantly picking up and washing dishes, all while babysitting the children that they are so anxious to ignore. AND CONTROL YOUR CHILDREN. What seems cute to the parents may not be adorable to others.
When my friends stay with me I make sure they do not clean or cook or do anything that a person on vacation would not want to do. When I visit my friends I do not go there to cook or help cook or clean after dinner etc etc. If I want to do that, I can stay at home. My friends know that and appreciate it. I would only agree that it is proper to take your friend to dinner to say thank you for the stay. When I stay with my friend in Napa I treat her to meals when we eat out. I guess if my friends were destitute I would eat out all the time rather than shop for my own food. Fortunately they are not.
Great advice. As someone who hosts a lot, I'm glad you mentioned asking the host if they want the beds stripped. I don't and it has nothing to do with stains (the mattress is new). I just don't like having to look at the bare mattress until I have time to wash the sheets and remake the bed. I don't usually have time to do it as soon as the guests leave.
You guys have no idea what hospitality is all about. My gosh, after doing all the things you suggest doing, it would be much easier and not to mention more private, if you stayed slew here or a hotel. You have guests to be good to them and give to them, not to have them bend to to your will and serve you. We should give either no expectation of anything in return. If so then it's cold like a business transaction that's paid for in gifts and service but less than a hotel. And beer certainly seems to be a priority for you. Why do assume everyone drinks it? Why not making yourself hospitable be a priority.
12 - Very important when invited do not invite extra guests, such as your kids that live in another state. Its incredibly rude. Especially when that guest of guest has now invited his an unmarried gay partner to stay with you.
I know somethings should just be known without being said, but apparently even the best of friends can push the very limits of hospitality.
13 - if there is a well stock bar, do not help yourself especially if you know your an alcoholic. Bring your own bottle of boose, but do not leave 5 empty bottle at the back of their bar like your host isn't going to notice.
14- do not invite yourself back, wait for an invite. Don't assume even if you thought you were a PEFECT guest that your automatically invited always.
15- make certain as long as light are turned off to keep outside doors shuts as well, bringing into the home extra outside pests are not cool.
16- do not use your host ice for freezer when packing a cooler. It isn't polite. Go to town and buy your own ice. With that being said do not remove items in refrigerator or freezer to make room for your items. This too would be a huge no no!
The guests from hell;(
Ok, I have a question?? We have a friend (husbands high school friend) that stays over every Tuesday, due to his work schedule and the long distance commute to his home.
My question is, when is it too much? What would you do?
Do these rules apply when I am hosting my nephew for the summer and he has a well paying job? He is only 20, but should he chip in for meals?
I have guests here right now. No gift, no thanks and they expect us to pay for everything. All of their 4 children are out of control. I keep finding urine all over the bathroom floor from their boys. This is horrible. I told my husband they have to stay in a hotel next year. I can't handle this anymore.
Any ideas for how to share these tips with a mother in law who insists on visiting every two months and perhaps rehabs only does about half of these things well?
This sounds like the perfect houseguest! We have a relative that stays with my parents and she never offers anything let alone bring a gift. This is a well-to-do educated woman no less. Blows my mind.
This is great advice, how would you let guests know what you expect when they visit your home? We recently moved to CO and have different family and friends visit at least once per month. It get so expensive having guests eat our food, coffee, etc. When my parents visit they are really helpful but friends my age (upper 20s-30s) visit they don't offer to strip sheets, they leave things here we have to ship home, and when we go to somewhere that costs money we often foot the bill. Is there a polite way to bring this up when ppl stay?
My father in law has spent increasingly long visits with us over the past several years (coming from AZ to MN). It used to be 1-2 weeks, but has evolved into two months. He "told" (not "asked") us last June that he'd be staying the month of September (which is plenty long, IMHO), then announced in late July that he'd be coming for August as well (which completely screwed up our summer vacation plans). My husband has a strangely formal relationship with his dad, and feels that it's the height of rudeness to push back on his visits in any way, and any argument that I might have with him makes him say that I'm a horrible and unkind person. My FIL is a dear, lovely man, and I adore him, but he's not a good houseguest--his crap is everywhere, he doesn't cook or buy any groceries, he makes huge hints that he likes to eat dinner at 5pm (I don't even get home from work until 5pm, then generally like to go for a run, then cook, and serve dinner around 7pm--that's our lifestyle), he's hard of hearing and keeps the TV at a deafening volume (and we're at his mercy on what to watch), and he gets up several times in the night to pee and slams doors when doing so which leaves us severely sleep-deprived. And a million other things that are just really disruptive to our lives. Worst of all, he's with us 24/7--if we go to run the smallest of errands, he comes with us. Any attempts at a "date-night" fail, and he comes with. I get that he's lonely, and if he were to visit for a week or two, fine, but a two month visit--come on? I literally "miss" my husband when my FIL visits--we truly do not have any alone time together. I have no idea how to deter these future long-term visits, but I can't keep doing this. How do you tell a beloved family member that they can't come stay with you for as long as they'd like without hurting their feelings?
Always help clean up after meals and always clean up the bathroom after showering or bathing, and always, always pick up after yourself and leave your room neat and organized and clean for the duration of your visit.
Please help.....I live in a house in a complex and parking space is very limited. I can probably accommodate 3 cars before they start blocking the neighbours. It is my daughter's party on Saturday, how do i politely ask people to park outside the complex gate and walk the 10m or so to the house so I'm not not causing a traffic jam?
I don't want to sound un-welcoming or like they aren't "good enough" to drive in..