I'm writing this post from the Caribbean island of Grenada, where I'm house-sitting for three months. Sounds pretty good, huh? (See also: Housesit on Your Next Vacation)
Well, I've just been dealt a heavy blow. My “partner” — who was supposed to join me here shortly — announced that he's been sleeping with another woman, and....drum roll, please....she's pregnant.
So my plans of spending the next three months in romantic coupled bliss on a tropical island are out the window. And to make matters worse, I'm really sick — an illness so incapacitating that I can only sit up for bouts of 10 minutes before having to lie down again. Being sick like this is a very scary way to be when you're alone — and a stark reminder of that aloneness.
And, ironically, I've agreed to write a post on things to be happy about.
It's time to reframe my experience. It would be stating the obvious to point out that I'm nursing my wounds (physical and emotional) on a Caribbean island, where I have almost no overhead expenses. This is something to be happy about. There are some engaging and friendly locals who live and work on the property, lending me a sense of companionship and security. And heck — I've found a way to travel the world full-time in a financially sustainable way; something I've been doing for the last five years.
To say “things could be worse” is an understatement.
When times are tough, it's difficult to see the forest for the trees. Everything becomes dire and full of despair.
To a point, I think it's healthy to explore these darker moments, because they lead to incredible growth experiences. But to linger in the depression — to wallow in self-loathing and doubt — is a dangerous road to go down. And you usually end up pushing away the people who are trying to help you in the process.
Instead, wallow — but only for a while. Then, reframe. After a period of self-care and nurturing kindness, it's time to pull yourself off of what can be a slippery slope towards bad habits and depression. Consider how you can change your life if you're feeling stuck. Cut out some pictures and dream big with a vision board. And surround yourself with people who love you and can support you. Don't push them away, as is often the knee-jerk response. It's in getting each other through dark moments in life that friendships deepen.
Here's a random list of things to be happy about. Don't allow a potential lack of some of these items in your life to get you down; instead do what I did in coming up with this list — look at the world around you through a baby's eyes. You'll be amazed at what you observe, and how simple the root of happiness can be.
To round out the list, here are a few things the Twitter and Facebook users I asked like to be happy about:
There. I don't know about you, but I actually feel a bit better. It's nice to reframe a tragedy (or tragic frame of mind) into something you just might eventually be able to be happy about.
This is a working list. Got anything to add?
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I hope your physical health improves quickly.
As for the blow you've been dealt - yipes. Another thing to be thankful for/happy about is that you are able to have this POV and still see the good of the situation. You are a strong person.
Hi Nora...sorry to hear about what you're going through. That's so great that you can take stock like this, very healthy. You've inspired me to do the same.
If you're looking for even more happy things, there's a blog that lists a happy thing every day (I think), called 1,000 Awesome Things. There's also a book called "The Book of Awesome" and a sequel called "The Book of Even More Awesome." Just a thought. =]
Nice list of things that can make us happy. Will definitely try some of it.
Love the list! I would have a very hard time pulling choosing my top 10 out of there. We do have so many things to be happy about and grateful for. Every night before I go to sleep I try to remind myself of all the things I was happy/grateful for that day.
I hope you recover from sickness very quickly and I am sorry to hear bad news about your situation. I'm sure you'll find someone better soon. I love the list you came up with. I get happy just reading them. Thanks for sharing in your tough times.
Jeez Nora, your life sounds like a soap opera. At least you were able to make some lemonade out of lemons in regards to your post. Stay positive because this too shall pass.
Popping the cork of a good bottle of wine.
LOL, great post and just in time for the fall and winter blues.
Becoming a mommy. :)
The sound of an ice cream truck? Haha! That sound makes me want to move out to a nicely silent cabin in the middle of the woods! Rest of the list is nice, though. :-)
Thank you for this article. It was inspiring and a necessary pick me up for what's been a bad day. It's been a year since you wrote this, but you should know your writing is helping many others out there.
Looking at the world upside down through a raindrop.
this list is very helpful to me as of this moment. can you send me the link to a site that could help me get past loneliness and a lack of confidence?