I'm not a football fan in general — clutch your pearls! — and I’ve been particularly disinterested in the Super Bowl since 2005, the year the half-time acts got all family friendly because Janet Jackson showed a little booby 12 months prior.
Am I bitter? For sure. But I won't be bored, and neither will you with these alternative game-day activities.
Gotta love a good Bundt. But this Milky Way Bundt recipe, courtesy of Cooks.com, takes the cake. (See also: Dump Cake and Other Sweet, Easy Treats)
Just make sure you find someone who’s committed to finishing a game in one sitting. It’s annoying when it spans several seasons. I’m talking to you, Jake A.
Position the bed in front of the mirror.
I’m notorious for getting drunk, making new friends and naming them in my phone after the establishment in which we met. For example, Frank Hooters or Mandi IHOP. The next day I have no idea who they are, and I never speak to them again. Time to downsize.
Surely there’s something you need to get off your chest. I still can’t legally marry in most states. That’s a start.
My DVR is loaded with episodes of “The Graham Norton Show,” “Skins,” “Being Human,” and “Smurfs’ Adventures.” What do you have waiting for you?
Get ahead of the game — and get your refund faster — by filing your taxes online. Easy-breezy.
It’s a dirty job, but somebody’s got to do it. Yep, even you.
What good is all this snow if you don’t make proper use of it? There has to be a hill close by that’s calling your name.
Make a charitable contribution — to your local thrift shop or your best friend — while making room for new spring additions.
Mine will be an interpretation of one of these prints by Gaping Void. He’ll return the gift in kisses.
And while you’re at it, throw out anything more than one month past its expiration date. You don’t want to start the next global pandemic, do you?
The sky is the limit, but this amateur submission is pretty darn funny.
A good way to earn some extra cash — if you know how to play better than your unsuspecting friends.
One of my fraternity brothers could recite this verbatim. I always thought it was kinda neat. One of those idiot savant qualities that you can’t help but envy.
It’s not supposed to have a ring around it. Neither should the toilet, for that matter.
I picked up the necessary items to make these magnets at my local craft store for under $4. A lot of times Michael’s has a 40% off one item coupon in the weekly circular, and you can save even more money by cutting pictures out of magazines (or old photos!) instead of buying scrapbooking paper like the post suggests. You don’t need a circle cutter or a cutting mat, either. Regular scissors work just as well.
I’ve heard and read so many excellent reviews on this new release. I can’t wait to dive in.
I did. You can read all about it right here.
You don’t have to go far — or spend a bundle — to see new sights and enjoy exciting experiences. Hop in the car and take a drive.
Seriously. It’s almost Valentine’s Day.
Full disclosure: Mine called me at the end of December, and I still haven’t returned her call. I think it’s time to take my own advice
If you make a formal plan, you’re more likely to achieve your goals. But you don’t have to believe me. Wise Bread writer Janey Osterlind details how in this article.
You’ll need a Ouija board, a few candles, and an open mind. Extra points for authenticity if you can convince your friends that the poltergeist living in your basement is showing you “signs.”
A few geniuses in Slovenia charge people to stay in theirs. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
This really depends on how ambitious you are. I would start with the bad words.
There’s just something about books and movies filed from A to Z that soothes the soul. At least for someone with OCD, like me.
Everybody has a change jar. It may not look very promising, but I bet there’s at least $30 in yours. That’s enough for groceries, a partial tank of gas, or a movie with concessions. Your call.
The possibilities are endless. You can make scarves, sweaters, potholders and lots of other things that old people will like. Learn knitting basics with this video.
Not everybody cares about the Big Game. Some people are just tryin’ to stay alive.
Anyone who can make a cucumber cocktail is OK with me.
You’ll save cash — and your man will thank you for clipping those claws.
You’ve heard the stories. Now experience the eye-bleaching action firsthand.
Trust me, there will definitely be an elliptical machine available this time. No excuses.
Can’t ever snag a table at that uppity new restaurant? Tonight’s the night!
Rent two of the Best Picture contenders and pretend like you’re part of the Academy. Before the show begins, critique each other’s outfits.
One of my aunts recently took a class and I was impressed. She’s no Duff Goldman — yet — but for a novice she really knocked my socks off. You can do it the DIY way by picking up a decorating kit.
When I was bored and broke in college, I would head to the town Walmart and stuff my cart full of fancy items. Fancy for Walmart in 2001, at least. When I had everything I needed, I would abandon the cart at the end of a dark aisle for an unsuspecting employee to find and curse me for later. It was strangely satisfying.
Just don’t use Gucci Mane for inspiration.
Chances are all your friends will be blacked out by the time the game is over. Be a hero. Save some lives.
People are doing this less and less as time goes on, because many of us put them online for the world to see instead of printing them out to enjoy at home. That's the downside to digital cameras, and it means that our hard-copy pics are out of date. Give your frames a facelift by ordering prints from Kodak Gallery, which offers 50 free to new customers. That’s enough to share.
God only knows what you've got in there. All you really need are these nine items.
Although if you're opposed to watching the Super Bowl, common sense says that you're already groomed better than a prize-winning poodle.
It's long overdue. Plus, free wine!
If you don't, nobody will hang out with you. Living proof.
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"Rent two of the Best Picture contenders and pretend like you’re part of the Academy."
Greg and I used to do this in college. Man, we sure had lots of free time back then.
What's a "Super Bowl"?
I stopped listening to them when they were on vinyl.
Oh, and another suggestion: marry a foreigner who thinks that "soccer" is "the real football" and live in a city where everyone pretends to be European (Seattle).
Love that idea. Especially if he looks like Beckham.
My plans for Superbowl Sunday include baking treats and (finally) watching the new episode of Glee. This made me LOL. You are awesome. Will you be my sassy gay friend?
Haha. Of course I will, Ruby. "Look at your life. Look at your choices." Love it!
Every year a friend of mine puts on a dinner fundraiser called "The Feast of the Superb Owl" 7 course all gluten free meal in Columbus Ohio.
Yum.
Proof I picked the right guy... while watching tv tonight an ad for the Superbowl flashed for a moment - he looked confused for a moment and said - verbatim - "Oh. Right. The Superbowl is this weekend. Huh." and went back our normal conversation.
Well... that's proof, along with the whole "I married a guy who made custom combat capable lightsabors for our wedding party" thing that helps me know I got the right geek to my nerd.
Sounds like you scored an amazing guy, Jenna! So happy you found your soul mate. Have a great day!
I find Super Bowl Sunday to be a great time to get in my Home Depot run.